Wednesday, April 30, 2008

"beautiful boy"

I just finished reading the most amazing book called "beautiful boy" by David Sheff. It is a memoir - written by the father of an addict. It has to be one of the best books I've read in a long time. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. With 6 kids, I cannot even begin to explain the fear I have that one of them will make some of these horribly devastating choices in life. There is some language in it, and I don't agree with everything that the author says and does - so it may not be right for everyone - but it's a true story, and it absolutely broke my heart. I would be sitting on the couch reading, with tears streaming down my cheeks, and my own beautiful boy (Parker) would come up to me and put his arms around me and ask me why I was so sad. It was so hard to read the story of this boys childhood, he was such a cute, normal, happy kid. He had so much potential - so smart, talented, the world at his feet - then he just spiraled down this path of self destruction.
I learned so much about what drugs (meth specifically) will do to a person - not to mention their family, physically and emotionally. I think that I have a much deeper understanding about addiciton. I've been very critical and naive about "addicts" up until now. I've always taken the attitude that "if they wanted to quit badly enough, they would", kind of a will-power thing. I've been so wrong. These drugs truly cause damage to your brain, that is sometimes irrepairable, and you are no longer yourself. I've always believed that people were either born with an "addictive personality" or they weren't. That part is sort of true - they have linked addiction to genetics. This book gave me an education - I hope I will never need to call on it...
I cannot imagine watching a child, that I gave life to, doing these things to themselves. It scares me to death. I think one of the most important things I learned was not to be naive, and that early intervention is the BEST remedy. I know our family is blessed, I pray that we will continue to be.

Friday, April 25, 2008


Well, it's Friday - I don't understand why that's such a big deal! Oh yeah, it's because the work week's over and it's relax time on the weekend! Wait - how come my weekends are just like my work weeks?? Whoever thought being a stay-at-home mom was such a hard job?! I can honestly say that I don't know how I used to handle working full time outside the home and still managed to get anything done around here! My job is home - and I'm always behind!!! The laundry's never "finished"; as soon as I fill the dishwasher, I turn around and find a counter full of dirty dishes; as soon as I mop the floors, they're dirty again; and don't even get me started on picking up the toys!! (I swear I think they multiply like rabbits when you have your back turned!) I don't know how my sister always seemed to have such a clean house with 4 kids! I don't stop picking up, putting away, cleaning, or washing from the time I get up until the time I FINALLY crawl into bed (if I'm lucky that's before 11 pm - but I'm not ususally so lucky). And on top of all that there are always errands to run, owies to kiss, books to read, games to play, coloring books to be colored in, homework to help with, meals to fix, buttons to sew, I could go on and on.
So I'm listening to the radio this morning and they're all "TGI Friday!! Woohoo - it's the weekend! What are your big weekend plans?", I'm thinking to myself - maybe I need to get me one of those job things, then I can celebrate Fridays too! Because my Saturday's are just like my Tuesday's, and for that matter my Monday's, Wednesday's and Thursday's too! The only day I really don't do AS much is Sunday - but then again - have you ever tried getting 6 kids ready for church, then loading them, your mother-in-law and sister-in-law all in 2 vehicles (because even the SUBURBAN isn't big enough anymore), sitting through church with a restless 2 year old, who would rather dance in the aisle or kick the seat in front of her, then draw quietly and eat her plethora of snacks that you've so thoughtfully -yet in vain- packed to keep her "busy"? Well, don't try, you may hurt yourself.
Instead of Fridays, do you know what I look forward to? Bedtime!! I long for bedtime like a kid longs go to Disneyland! I really do, and that's so sad! I cannot wait to crawl under my covers and lay my head down so I can just be in the same place for more than 5 minutes! You know, for awhile after I had Hailey - I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, like I had "Chronic Fatigue Sydrome" or "Mono" or something! But then I realized that I'm just suffering from Chronic Mom Syndrome!

So, for all of you who can enjoy it - go enjoy your Friday!!! I'll be looking forward to my bedtime!

Monday, April 21, 2008

My baby girl...

Saturday night was my baby girls Senior Prom. Where have the years gone? And when did she get so grown up? She looked beautiful, like a woman! I'm so impressed with the young woman she's become, she really is such a blessing to our lives. The teenage years had so many ups and downs, I felt like I was riding Space Mountain - I never knew what was around the next turn. Now that she's 18, things are different. She's grown so much in just the few short months that have passed since she entered adulthood. She'll be graduating in less than 2 months and everytime I think about it, my eyes well up and my heart aches, because she'll be packing her room - all those childhood memories, and enough clothes to fill a boutique - and she'll be heading off to her future as a college freshman. She's been accepted to UVSC (which becomes UVU in July) in Provo, Utah, and she has actually voiced an interest in Nursing! I couldn't be more proud of her...When she was a baby, 18 seemed a lifetime away. Now that she's 18, does that mean I'm old??? I'm old enough to have an 18 year old? What? Now I have a headache!
And yes, she has a boyfriend that she "loves"! He came down from St. George to take her to her prom, that was actually pretty sweet. My biggest concern is that he is ALSO going to UVSC, and I'm not sure how much "attending" is going to be going on! I'm not ready for this!

Monday, April 14, 2008

I'm embarassed to say that I JUST finally figured out how to get this dang slide show onto my blog page. But I have yet to figure out how to add text to it without losing it! You'd think that I'd be a little more computer savvy by my age...alas, I am not. Sad, I know. Well, it'll be an adventure for all of us!!! 8)

Parker's T-ball

Friday, April 4, 2008

Thank goodness it's baseball season again!!! I know I'm probably the only wife/mom that likes to actually watch baseball on TV...but I do! I love to watch my teams (all the SoCal teams, but our favorite team, hands down, is the Angels!!! Loved them since I was a kid and my dad used to take us to the home games! In those days they were the California Angels.) So far the Angels are 3-2 on the season!!! Go Halo's!!!

Also, our little Parker started his first year of Little League this week...big T-Baller! He had his season opener last Saturday and they were sooo cute! - I mean cool! (Parker doesn't like to be "cute" anymore, now he wants to be "cool") Tomorrow is his second game of the season and he's actually ASKING to go to bed so that he has enough "energy" for his big game tomorrow! That never happens! His team is the Raptors - as in the Ogden Raptors. They are, by the way, the rookie team for the LA Dodgers! And they're rival team is the Orem Owlz - with a Z - who play on the field at UVSC (soon to be UVU-where my oldest will be attending college in the fall). And they are the rookie team for who?? That's right...the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Just a little baseball trivia for those who are as crazy as me!
Anyway!!! Tomorrow I'll have some pics of Parker's game. I should probably get to bed myself so that I can get up and take to his big game!!